Armchair Imagineering: Canine Stunt Spectacular Starring Bolt!

Somewhere along the line, Disney made the mistake of thinking it and Universal were in the same business.

Now you might be thinking: but of course they are, they both produce films and then turn those films into rides in their respective theme parks. That's like saying Coca-Cola and Budweiser are in the same business because they both manufacture carbonated beverages flavored with hops and packaged in aluminum cans. If you paid attention to that previous sentence, at this point you're scratching your head and going “But Coke isn't flavored with hops,” to which my reply is: Exactly.

With its two “Studios” parks (one in Orlando, one in Paris) and the Hollywood Land area in California Adventure (all three collectively referred to hereinafter as the Studios), Disney is basically doing the equivalent of dumping a lot of beer in the Coke vat in order to try and woo the Budweiser market. They're trying to copy Universal's schtick, because apparently being the undisputed champion of the theme park realm isn't enough if the other guy sells any tickets at all. We can discuss the ethics of greed later,* but for now I want to concentrate on the folly of trying to beat the other guy at his own game.

In this case, the game is “Here are the movies, in theme park form.” On the surface it seems like a sure win for Disney, who commands way more perennially popular film IPs than Universal and has more experience creating awesome theme park attractions. So why has their execution of this concept been such a hot mess? A consensus has emerged: Disney-MGM-Hollywood-But-Definitely-NOT-Universal Studios in Orlando needs work, Hollywood Land is easily the weakest, most disjointed part of California Adventure, and the Paris Studios park outright sucks.

So...is the issue that Disney simply can't beat Universal at its own game? Could very well be.

But it could also be that Disney isn't really committed to playing.

See, Universal's hook isn't just “Ride the movies!” To a large extent, it's also “Here's how the movies work.” Universal Studios Hollywood is a working film studio with a theme park grafted on. The main attraction—which was for many years the only ride—is the backlot tram tour, featuring factual information about soundstages and props, scenic views of outdoor sets, and live demonstrations of practical effects. Other attractions have allowed guests to play with green screens, puppets, and sound effects. There are plenty of immersive rides too, but Universal Studios Hollywood never lets you forget for a second that filmmaking is a hands-on industry.

Disney can't go that route. For them to base a theme park—or even a theme park area—around the premise of movies as artifice, as clever technological illusions, would be for them to shoot themselves in both feet vis-à-vis all their other parks, where they would prefer for you to suspend your disbelief and accept that the magic is real. Show someone how motion-capture technology creates Davy Jones, and the next thing you know they're noticing the projectors on the Haunted Mansion and pointing out Tigger's zipper.

The result is that the Studios stuff most directly analogous to Universal—the stuff related to making movies—comes across half-hearted. Sure, they'll let you try out a little voice dubbing...but they'll chicken out of imparting any actual information about the process in favor of pretending Ursula is stealing your voice.** It's magic, okay? Disney magic. This makes the Studios ultimately nothing more than IP spam...but IP spam is what all Disney parks are mainly about these days, leaving no way for the Studios to distinguish themselves from everything else except that the buildings are uglier.

It's a pickle, all right. How can Disney get out of this corner they've painted themselves into?

Well, one way is by putting more focus on IPs that actually fit the theme of movie-making. Animal Kingdom sees a lot of animal characters and the World Showcase gets characters with distinctive national origins, so why not apply the same principle to the Studios?

In at least one case, they have. The Muppets have a significant presence in Disney-Hollywood Studios. Until fairly recently, they could also be found in Hollywood Land, until their 3D theater was pre-empted first by movie previews, then by a Frozen sing-along, then by more movie previews. (Last I checked, it was showing a clip from Pete's Totally Real Dragon That Can't Teach You Anything About CGI Because He's Totally Real.) No definitive statements have been made one way or the other regarding whether the Muppets will ever return...but just in case they won't, what else could be meaningfully done with this real estate? Are there any other characters under the Disney aegis that could be used to address the film and television industries in that meta sense that makes the Muppets so delightful?

Well...what about this guy?

Bolt is one of those Disney movies that, while successful enough upon its release in 2008, seems to have been shoved to the back of the general public's memory closet. This is almost certainly why nothing permanent has been done with it in the parks, even though it is perhaps the ultimate IP for the Studios. This, too, is probably a mistake on Disney's part—the company's greatest successes come when it surprises audiences by giving them something they had no idea they wanted, as opposed to simply following the polls.

The point is, if the Muppets are indeed gone for good, I have a kickass idea for a show to go in their old theatre. So grab your 3D glasses and queue up for...the Canine Stunt Spectacular Starring Bolt!

Overview

This show, like MuppetVision 3D before it, combines a 3D film with practical effects, audio-animatronic characters, and even live performers...and ups the ante with the addition of pyrotechnics and precise stage-blocking to apparently meld the live elements with the images on the screen!

The show is framed as an “info-tainment” attraction, teaching the audience about the challenges of working with animal actors, the rigors of stunt work, and how ingenious practical effects make Bolt the most convincing action series on television. But then...something Goes Horribly Wrong, and it's up to Bolt himself to save the day for real!

In addition to the usual team of Cast Members overseeing the entrance, queue, and exit areas, this attraction requires a performer to play the role of presenter and interact both with the audience and (virtually) with the on-screen and animatronic characters.

Pre-Show

Changes to the building facade and queue area are minimal; the theatre is already themed as a television studio and only needs to have the trimmings swapped out to change the supposed “owner.” The new props should relate to the production of the show-within-a-movie, Bolt. Here are a few possibilities:

• Award certificates for innovation in production design
• Cast “photos”
• Crates of dog food
• Practical effects from the show, such as a full-sized “car” tipped up on end and leaning against something that a real car would crush, proving that it's a lightweight prop.
• A building directory—sharp-eyed guests may notice a huge amount of space given over to the Effects Departments compared to other functions.

The waiting area just outside the auditorium is also redecorated with more pragmatic-looking props and images. The program shown on the TV screens is a mockup of a half-hour “behind the scenes” documentary about the Bolt series, such as might air on network television—with commercial breaks removed, such a program would clock in at roughly 22 minutes, a good length for a theatre show plus seating and exit times. It includes clips from the series (some as seen in the movie, others brand-new), snippets of interviews with members of the cast and crew, and lots of perkily narrated descriptions of Bolt’s powers (“Zoom zoom,” the Super Bark, etc.) and how they are achieved on-screen. A significant quote from the director—“The superpowers may be studio magic, but the heroism is real”—foreshadows the climax of the theatre show.

Theatre

The auditorium itself has been extensively remodeled. The penguins' orchestra pit has been replaced by a stage platform extending outward from the base of the screen. The balconies, decorative draperies, and other trappings of the theatre have been removed and the space is now lined with catwalks, overhead camera rigs, stacked crates, and other things suggesting a TV set dressed as a warehouse.

Once the audience is seated, the doors are closed, and the 3-D glasses are on, the presenter walks out to the middle of the physical stage and introduces themself as Terry (or another unisex name—this allows the on-screen characters to address the presenter by name no matter who is playing the role). They goad the audience into evincing excitement about the proceedings before the show is allowed to begin properly.

The screen, unlike in MuppetVision 3D but like in It's Tough To Be a Bug!, depicts a fixed view of a physical space: a continuation of the stage platform and warehouse-like props. The environment is close to photorealistic, although all the characters that appear on the screen are animated in the style of the film Bolt.

Show Summary

On the screen, an (animated) trainer brings out a white dog on a leash—not the real Bolt, he explains, but a stand-in they use for demonstrations when Bolt is busy filming, and sometimes in wide shots of the show. “Rudy” doesn't know all of Bolt's tricks, but he's still learning. The trainer talks a little about what all goes into training an animal actor.

He then leads Rudy through a number of performance tricks—running and jumping on command, leaping at a stunt actor in the uniform of Dr. Calico's minions, and at one point pulling on a downward-hanging rope, which causes a real crate on the stage to rise into the air, suspended by a real rope. The physical prop and the image on the screen are arranged in such a way that they appear to be connected.

The trainer says “And now let's put it all together into an action scene!” More “minions” emerge from offstage and strike threatening poses. At this point, the show takes its cues from the climax of the movie: Rudy spooks at the sight of so many “enemies” and runs away, knocking over a stage light in the process. Sparks fly, and the stage catches fire!

The flames quickly spread not just all over the on-screen image of the stage, but the real theatre space, thanks to a combination of practical effects, projected images, and a few actual (small) flame jets. The animated stunt actors escape, promising to summon the studio firefighters, but the catwalks “collapse,” blocking the theatre doors. More items fall over both on-screen and in the physical space. Terry assures the audience that remaining seated is their best bet to stay safe, but they don't have much time!

Suddenly, barking is heard from the direction of the stage, and a white dog bursts into view on the screen. Is it Rudy? No—it's Bolt! He heard the tumult from his soundstage and raced over to help!

This is the climax of the show in not only the narrative but the technical sense—the fact that piles of debris on the screen line up with physical props allows Bolt to “move” from the virtual space to the real one by appearing to crawl through them. State-of-the-art animatronic figures pop out of hidden spaces, exhibit some lifelike movement, and vanish again so Bolt can show up somewhere else. This is partially symbolic—the “fake” Bolt (Rudy) appears only on the screen, while the “real” Bolt has an existence in the real space.

While Bolt is zipping around, extinguishing what he can and looking for more solutions, the firefighters arrive (represented by recorded voices on one side of the theatre, muffled to sound as though coming through the wall). They can't get through the blockages, but if they can find a clear path through a duct they can feed a hose through and put out the fire that way. Terry eggs the audience into commanding Bolt to “Speak!” and a final animatronic emerges to perform the Super Bark at the outlet of a vent. Mist pours from the vent, and the flame effects are turned off. Bolt has saved the day! He “returns” to the screen and Terry leads the audience in a round of grateful applause.

Two Possible Endings

Like it says, I can think of two ways to conclude the show. I'm not sure which would be better—if you have an opinion, please let me know in the comments!

Straight Play Ending: The theatre “really was” on fire, and when the audience exits, they see piles of blackened debris that have been pushed away from the exit doors, lines of safety tape, and perhaps firefighting equipment.

Subversion/“Movie Magic” Ending: Bolt performs the Super Bark, but there is no mist. Instead, the flame effects are blatantly turned off and the “collapsed” set pieces move back into their original positions. It was all an act, and Bolt was in on it! He returns to the stage, along with the human performers, the dog trainer with Rudy, and a few previously unseen techie characters; they all take their bows.

To recap what I consider the particular virtues of this concept:

• It hits that sweet spot of compromise between an original, guest-focused experience and an IP-driven spectacle.
• It's a perfect fit for an area that has been extremely hit-and-miss with regard to theme-appropriate attractions.
• It uses existing infrastructure to its best advantage.
• It's genuinely educational without being tedious or didactic. (It helps that the topic involves animals, which most people are happy to learn any number of facts about.)

And getting back to my original point...

• It's a way for Disney to play Universal's game without betraying its own ideals.

That's all for this week. See you next time!

* Or, you know, not

** And inserting it into a clip from The Lion King, as Sea Witches are wont to do.